Wednesday, November 4, 2009

sex before friendship?

So this has been the topic of conversation today in the sewing studio....Why do people have sex to start a relationship.....instead of building a foundation of friendship first. Yadiyda's opinion is that in truth sex is something that can be fixed, played with, toyed with to get it right. But you can't "practice" or fix a spiritual connection.....its got to be there or not. For example Yadiyda goes to a club on Sat. night, having a great times realizes that one her ex boyfriends in the club. To her great happiness notices that he is frockling with a young lady and Yadiyda can roam the dance freely without her security guards eye. She ends up dancing with a gorgeous, tall, chocolate just her type of dude who is her perfect fit (meaning, a man that moves his body perfectly with yours and the reggae music is pumping the adrenaline of your soul)*her exact words..LOL* The night ends delightfully and they exchange telephone numbers. The following day they communicate and decide to "hang out" To Yadiyda this means get to know each other..not HAVE SEX!!!!! To her dismay she spends 3 hours explaining to this man that she can not have sex with him, she doesn't even know his last name nor does he hers. But yet in still he is comfortable in the idea of exchanging bodily fluids knowing nothing about her!!!! He then proceeds to have a 27 year old tantrum, she walks away hoping that he comes to his senses. I don't think he has come to his senses yet since he is still calling and sounding very desperate. which leaves us to wonder where has the male backbone gone???? Was it unreasonable to think that she could have a nice conversation and hang out??? LOLOL

I (Molly) am 35 and if I say I don't want to have sex , you are not gonna change my mind. No Kart-wheels or begging or anything is going to entice me. LOL. Just be cool about it. Hold a good conversation, a good night kiss, be a gentleman. Why is this so hard these days?

So my story is.......I meet this guy out and about, immediate chemistry. Very interesting guy, artistic, funny, personable. We hang out. But every time he tries to have sex with me. I have conversation about the fact that I just want to wait to see how we get along. A week or so goes by and he apologizes for being so persistent about the sex thing. I say no problem and even treat him to a nice Italian dinner, because I enjoy his company. About an hour later he says "I wanna have sex" *scratching my head* "Huh"????? This brings me back to the question..was it unreasonable to think that I could have a nice conversation and hang out????

Yadiyda and I both think its funny that guys wanna have sex quickly. See, if you wanna have sex with me quickly then you will want to have sex with any girl you "like" or "find attractive" quickly(of course guys would never admit to this). Just like guys say they don't want a girl that will sleep with anyone, girls don't want a guy that will willy nilly jump in the sack. Ummm that is NOT cute. Waiting is sexy, anticipation is sexy, mental stimulation is sexy, getting to know one another is necessary.


  1.'s funny that you all write about this, it just happened recently to me as well. The problem is that we live in a sexual world where women leave no mystery and give it up quick. You also live in a city where the ratio of women to men is off horribly (it's like 10 to 1) so men don’t have to try so hard.
    You can be cool with someone and kick it with them with out it being a big deal, but if a man can’t respect your "no" then there is no friendship or coolness to be had.
    great blog, love you ladies

    Ali Roc

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  3. If Waiting is Sexy....Yadiyda...i must have been the Sexiest Muthafucka ya ever laid eyes on...humm i can't help you with this one ladies...i've never been the one to push the issue of sex...if its to be it will my case anyway...Sometimes when you wait even if you don't want to you realize that while you were waiting you found something else that you wanted alot a friend fa life..